So I spend so much time reading other people's blogs...I should have my own, right? I enjoy writing...newsletters, stories, journaling, poetry, I've had property management articles published...so what's so intimidating about a blog? I guess I just scare myself...I tend to write whatever I think, and that will get me into trouble....
So I was talking to one of my young friends today, telling them that even though I have enjoyed writing for a long time, I had no idea how to start off my new blog. I then went on to remind her that blogging can be like therapy...write about whatever you're thinking about, if only just to get it off your chest, and maybe it'll help one of your readers with a situation in their life. So, in a very un-like me kind of way, I shall take my own advice.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
When it strikes right to the heart...
Okay, so I am the world's worst blogger...in what little free time I have, I read OTHER people's blogs, to catch up on them...and don't find the time to write on my own. I will try to change.
Today, however, a news item came down the wire and I just HAVE to write about it, because it just struck so close to home. It's an article about a 10-year-old girl from central Illinois - maybe an hour or so from my home town - who committed suicide a few days ago by hanging herself in a closet. Her family says it was due to the bullying she was forced to endure every day at her school. Her mother states that kids at school and in the neighborhood had taken to calling this poor child all kinds of horrible names and hurling insults that would make anyone want to cry. She had recently asked her mother if she could be homeschooled, obviously in an attempt to protect herself from this daily abuse, but was told no. The next day, she ended her young life.
It's a horribly sad story - one that we are hearing all too often: kids who are driven to take their own lives because of the emotional and/or physical abuse being reaped on them by their own schoolmates. In some of the cases, some close family members knew of the bullying but felt powerless to help. Many of the youngsters, however, were thought to be happy, intelligent, motivated individuals - at least that is what teachers and peers claimed to see. Most had no clue of what the person was dealing with. Admittedly, some might have had an inkling and chose not to get involved...but all too often, the people who were around these kids on a regular basis had no idea that suicide was even a possibility.
That begs the question: who knows what a depressed, possibly suicidal person "looks like"?? I know, we all picture the "crazy" folks who load themselves down with ammo, carry an M-16 into a seemingly random public place, and begin firing. Or, do you picture individuals who walk around with slumped shoulders, sad eyes and an ongoing list of complaints? Truth is, it could be any one of us...there is no "portrait of a depressed and/or suicidal person". The only common characteristic amongst these people is that they felt alone, helpless and hopeless about the world around them.
I've heard a lot of people comment: "What could be so terrible in these kids' lives? They're kids!" . Obviously they haven't been around a group of kids lately. SO many of them can be mean little buggars! I see and hear kids on a regular basis who have no filter: they say whatever crosses their minds without giving any thought to the impact their words might have. They have simply not been taught to think before they speak. Little jabs and jests and insults, over time, can build up to a point where that is all the poor kid hears, and all the positive reinforcement in the world, from parents, teachers, etc. doesn't erase it.
A friend of mine once showed me an excellent demonstration of this concept: she had a block of wood and a bunch of tiny nails. When someone hurls an insult or calls a name, it's as if a nail has been driven into the block of wood. So a kid who gets picked on even occasionally pretty quickly ends up full of nails. Even if a positive reinforcement or apology comes along, and the nail is removed....the hole is still there. Nothing can take those holes away, they linger. The more holes that are added, the more splintered and damaged the wood block becomes...and no amount of positive, no amount of encouragement, can change it. That's how these poor little souls become...splintered, damaged...with no hope.
Today, however, a news item came down the wire and I just HAVE to write about it, because it just struck so close to home. It's an article about a 10-year-old girl from central Illinois - maybe an hour or so from my home town - who committed suicide a few days ago by hanging herself in a closet. Her family says it was due to the bullying she was forced to endure every day at her school. Her mother states that kids at school and in the neighborhood had taken to calling this poor child all kinds of horrible names and hurling insults that would make anyone want to cry. She had recently asked her mother if she could be homeschooled, obviously in an attempt to protect herself from this daily abuse, but was told no. The next day, she ended her young life.
It's a horribly sad story - one that we are hearing all too often: kids who are driven to take their own lives because of the emotional and/or physical abuse being reaped on them by their own schoolmates. In some of the cases, some close family members knew of the bullying but felt powerless to help. Many of the youngsters, however, were thought to be happy, intelligent, motivated individuals - at least that is what teachers and peers claimed to see. Most had no clue of what the person was dealing with. Admittedly, some might have had an inkling and chose not to get involved...but all too often, the people who were around these kids on a regular basis had no idea that suicide was even a possibility.
That begs the question: who knows what a depressed, possibly suicidal person "looks like"?? I know, we all picture the "crazy" folks who load themselves down with ammo, carry an M-16 into a seemingly random public place, and begin firing. Or, do you picture individuals who walk around with slumped shoulders, sad eyes and an ongoing list of complaints? Truth is, it could be any one of us...there is no "portrait of a depressed and/or suicidal person". The only common characteristic amongst these people is that they felt alone, helpless and hopeless about the world around them.
I've heard a lot of people comment: "What could be so terrible in these kids' lives? They're kids!" . Obviously they haven't been around a group of kids lately. SO many of them can be mean little buggars! I see and hear kids on a regular basis who have no filter: they say whatever crosses their minds without giving any thought to the impact their words might have. They have simply not been taught to think before they speak. Little jabs and jests and insults, over time, can build up to a point where that is all the poor kid hears, and all the positive reinforcement in the world, from parents, teachers, etc. doesn't erase it.
A friend of mine once showed me an excellent demonstration of this concept: she had a block of wood and a bunch of tiny nails. When someone hurls an insult or calls a name, it's as if a nail has been driven into the block of wood. So a kid who gets picked on even occasionally pretty quickly ends up full of nails. Even if a positive reinforcement or apology comes along, and the nail is removed....the hole is still there. Nothing can take those holes away, they linger. The more holes that are added, the more splintered and damaged the wood block becomes...and no amount of positive, no amount of encouragement, can change it. That's how these poor little souls become...splintered, damaged...with no hope.
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